Eyes Out Entertainment Forums  
 

Go Back   Eyes Out Entertainment Forums > General > The Katana > Creativity corner

Creativity corner Share your creativity with the world, get some feedback, and so on.



Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-22-2009, 07:43 PM
Svage's Avatar
Svage Svage is offline
The Savage Wolf
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Idaho, usa
Posts: 1,426
Rep Power: 14
Svage is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Svage Send a message via Yahoo to Svage
Default Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

Spoiler:
this is one of the stories I wrote about my T:Law character concept and L5R character Ryubara Yama. Also a sometime character in the upcoming manga. Tell me what you think, any feed back is apreciated. I would like to eventually put together all my stories of him into one cohesive story, but that will take a while. I have ALOT to dig through.


Breach in the Wall

“Another breach on the north wall!” someone screamed as his unit stopped at the central command in the courtyard.
“First unit! Get water and rest!” he bellowed immediately, “Second unit follow me, third unit into standby!” and with that he began jogging towards the stairs onto the north wall. A group of soldiers who were on standby grabbed their weapons and followed him. The group he had just brought back from the south wall collapsed while the last of the soldiers in the courtyard started forming up to be ready for action.
As Yama topped the stairs with his unit right behind him he saw enemy soldiers starting to take a foothold about twenty feet to his left. The defending forces had rallied around their commander and had stopped any further pushes onto the wall, but could not drive the attackers off of it. Yama pushed his way through the crowd to the forefront and started swinging his giant tetsubo, clearing a swath of attackers off the wall from in front of him, half of them falling to the courtyard 50 feet below.
The reserve unit he commanded started working their way forward to join him, the units they were assisting began falling back to allow the fresher forces to the forefront. With Yama in the lead they quickly overpowered the tired attacking forces throwing them off the wall, tossing the siege ladders back to the ground, and chopping off the grappling hooks that were being used to pull up more ladders.
When the last of the attackers were driven from the wall, Yama returned to the wall commander and greeted him with a salute and a grin. “Grandfather, if you wanted to keep me from being bored you are doing a good job, but another couple of breeches and I might start thinking you are getting a little old for this.”
“OLD?!” the wall commander, Yama’s grandfather, bellowed in response. “I can still beat any unit out here by myself! It’s these green recruits you left me with to hold this wall. Those idiots out there in the other army must be able to see the lack of training from all the way out there! I have seen more of their elite units out on my side of the wall than they had yesterday. As if any unit with less than a couple years wartime experience is worth the rice to feed it.”
The soldiers near enough to hear let out subdued laughs at the older commander’s ranting. They had long before learned that he would call the most grizzled veterans “recruit” when frustrated. Everyone on that wall had more than enough experience to have earned his respect.
Yama smiled patiently through his grandfather’s tirade. Even though Yama towered a head and shoulder above the soldiers around him, he never had anything other than a pleasant attitude. While he was always pleasant, his grandfather was always rough. They complimented each other nicely.
When his grandfather was finally done yelling Yama saluted again. “Permission to take the reserve unit back to the courtyard?”
“Yes, yes. Get out of here.” He said with a wave of his hand, “But don’t you dare go and get killed, or I won’t be able to show you how this old man can still take you down!”
“Yes sir!” Yama smiled and led his unit back down to the courtyard.
The siege had been going on for a couple of days, but they had received more than their fair share of losses. Already Yama had lost his two older brothers in the fighting on the south wall. One had been in command when the siege started; the other had been in Yama’s current position. Yama held command of the reserve units only because he was the highest rank to have survived that long.
Finally he had a chance to rest a little during a lull in the combat. He knew that they would not be able to hold out more than another couple of days, the attacking force was just too vast, and had hit them by surprise. Somehow not a single scout had survived to let the castle know they were coming. They thought something was wrong when traffic along the western road had stopped all of a sudden, but it had taken only 2 days from the stop of traffic before the invaders had the castle surrounded. It seemed like the attackers had no care for the troops they sent at the wall. They were winning simply by way of numbers. The defenders took nearly ten for every one they lost, but still they were losing a higher percentage than the attackers. They could only hope at least one of the calls for help had gotten through. The lord of the castle had taken to training birds to carry important messages, and they had sent them all out with calls for aid. Yama had watched several of the birds fall from the storm of arrows that had gone up after them, but he still hoped that some had made it through. It was their only hope for survival.
He heard the horn calls for another assault, and got the third unit ready to help out where needed. The first breach of the walls happened nearly a half hour later, and for the next couple of hours Yama’s units were stretched to their limits, barely getting to rest between trade outs. Enough soldiers were lost that they reformed into two units, one active the other in reserve. Finally the north and west walls were breached, and both units went out to assist. Yama went north and sent the majority of the veterans to the west wall.
As he topped the north wall Yama saw a depressing sight. Most of the defenders had fallen, barely a third were rallying to stop the attackers, but they were taking losses at an alarming rate. Before he could call his forces to assist Yama saw his grandfather fall beneath the many blades of the attackers. With a cry of despair Yama flung himself into the fray. His great tetsubo, like a club wielded by a giant of death, swept enemies both over the outside of the wall and down to their deaths on the stones of the courtyard. His rage allowing him to ignore the numerous cuts and slashes he received in return. The attackers’ moral broke in the wake of his wrath, and they retreated over the wall in a haste born only from fear for one’s life. Yama returned to his fallen grandfather and saw there was no way he could have survived the wounds taken, in fact he was already gone. With another cry of despair Yama flung himself off the wall after the retreating attackers. The sheer idiocy of this action drove even greater fear into the fleeing soldiers. Yama charged after them, catching them with ease and laying waste about him with his great tetsubo. His rage drove him all the way back to the reserve forces of the attackers, the ones who had not seen what he had done on the wall. He was quickly surrounded, but he would not stop, and his skill combined with his rage was enough to keep himself upright, dealing death and destruction around him. Some mounted units attempted to drive him beneath their horses hooves, but he dodged and deflected their lances with his weapon and pulled them from their saddles, on occasion his swings taking down the horses before their riders could even strike at him. He knew he was dead as soon as his strength gave out, and even though his weapon grew heavier with each swing, he would not give up. He wanted to make them pay for the death of his family.
Finally his weapon grew too heavy to hold, and he dropped to his knees. When he looked up he was shocked to see not his death at their blades, but the bottoms of their fleeing feet. In his fatigue he couldn’t understand why they ran, surely he had not driven them off by himself. Then he understood as horsemen of his lord’s ally to the west flew by him, finishing the route of the former attackers. With a sigh of relief he allowed his wounds and fatigue to pull him into blackness as he was surrounded by friendly forces.
When he woke up in the surgeon’s tents he was welcomes with a hero’s cheer. He found out that the time of his own grief and rage fueled attack on their enemies coincided with the relief efforts of several of his lord’s allies. A couple of the messenger birds had made it through, and their allies had coordinated a joint effort to route the attacking force with a rear assault.
They were a bit shocked to see the patch of destruction that Yama had left in his suicidal assault, and had thought he had succumbed to his wounds and followed his grandfather into the afterlife when they caught up with him. Apparently his great size and constitution had not allowed him to fall that day, and many swore he had a great destiny a head of him. Yama’s opinion was that his grandfather didn’t think him worthy enough to die yet, and had kept him alive merely to spite him.


edit: in case I missed any, my wife pointed out I already had a story in which Yama's father died, so please replace any missed "father"s with grandfather.
__________________

-Warning-
I am out of prozac and patience, and I have a .357

(translated to fit in with T:LAW)
Be wary, I am lacking both in mood and patience, and my blade is both fast and sharp.

(edited to fit for Yama)
Your getting on my nerves, leave before I injure your inner child with my fist.


Short stories by ME
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 02-22-2009, 07:49 PM
Svage's Avatar
Svage Svage is offline
The Savage Wolf
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Idaho, usa
Posts: 1,426
Rep Power: 14
Svage is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Svage Send a message via Yahoo to Svage
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

THese are a couple shorts written from roleplaying games I was in. THe serenity one was the first couple of adventures in the Serenity RPG from my character's viewpoint. Game is still going on sporadically.

The ColdStar one was a superhero character I made for a Mutant's and masterminds game. If I ever get the RIfts style superhero game going he might have a cameo, or even be a villain. take note.

Edit: oh yeah, the second part of the Serenity one, titled "brooks takes over" was written by another player. I wasn't there for most of that adventure.
Attached Files
File Type: doc coldstar.doc (13.0 KB, 401 views)
File Type: doc Serenity.doc (31.0 KB, 399 views)
__________________

-Warning-
I am out of prozac and patience, and I have a .357

(translated to fit in with T:LAW)
Be wary, I am lacking both in mood and patience, and my blade is both fast and sharp.

(edited to fit for Yama)
Your getting on my nerves, leave before I injure your inner child with my fist.


Short stories by ME
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-23-2009, 07:41 AM
Svage's Avatar
Svage Svage is offline
The Savage Wolf
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Idaho, usa
Posts: 1,426
Rep Power: 14
Svage is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Svage Send a message via Yahoo to Svage
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

Here are a couple of DnD based ones, I was going to wright another character in a third one and combine then three into a single story, but the thrid character wouldn't get onto paper for me. I may eventually put these two into one story though.
Attached Files
File Type: doc The Rescue.doc (44.0 KB, 446 views)
File Type: doc The assassin.doc (43.0 KB, 411 views)
__________________

-Warning-
I am out of prozac and patience, and I have a .357

(translated to fit in with T:LAW)
Be wary, I am lacking both in mood and patience, and my blade is both fast and sharp.

(edited to fit for Yama)
Your getting on my nerves, leave before I injure your inner child with my fist.


Short stories by ME
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-27-2009, 10:19 PM
Shinobikaito's Avatar
Shinobikaito Shinobikaito is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In a place so much less simple than Feudal Japan.
Posts: 658
Rep Power: 9
Shinobikaito is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

Wow, this is very nice.

What are you planning to do in Tatsumaki?

Once it is out, of course.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-27-2009, 11:03 PM
Svage's Avatar
Svage Svage is offline
The Savage Wolf
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Idaho, usa
Posts: 1,426
Rep Power: 14
Svage is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Svage Send a message via Yahoo to Svage
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

I am planning on Blacksmithing (focus on armor), and some fighting. Basically try a little of everything untill I find my nich, but mostly combat and armor smithing. and I will be doing alot of administrative work too since I am the head of the Ryubara clan. Take a look on the family forums. I have a whole write up on us.
__________________

-Warning-
I am out of prozac and patience, and I have a .357

(translated to fit in with T:LAW)
Be wary, I am lacking both in mood and patience, and my blade is both fast and sharp.

(edited to fit for Yama)
Your getting on my nerves, leave before I injure your inner child with my fist.


Short stories by ME
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-28-2009, 01:57 AM
Vahn's Avatar
Vahn Vahn is offline
Sculpted from Awesomeness
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa!
Posts: 929
Rep Power: 11
Vahn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Vahn Send a message via MSN to Vahn
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

I'm looking forward to reading your stuff this weekend Svage, when I have some time! But, in advance, thanks for posting it all
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-28-2009, 02:31 AM
Svage's Avatar
Svage Svage is offline
The Savage Wolf
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Idaho, usa
Posts: 1,426
Rep Power: 14
Svage is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Svage Send a message via Yahoo to Svage
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

anytime. Take into account I am an amature. and most of these were written in a single sitting. actually, all were. I love getting feed back from other people.
__________________

-Warning-
I am out of prozac and patience, and I have a .357

(translated to fit in with T:LAW)
Be wary, I am lacking both in mood and patience, and my blade is both fast and sharp.

(edited to fit for Yama)
Your getting on my nerves, leave before I injure your inner child with my fist.


Short stories by ME
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-01-2009, 08:19 AM
NinjaKerocker's Avatar
NinjaKerocker NinjaKerocker is offline
Ninja XL
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Jerusalem
Posts: 587
Rep Power: 10
NinjaKerocker is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to NinjaKerocker Send a message via Skype™ to NinjaKerocker
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

well at least you got some feedback (>.>)(<.<)
__________________
Signature?! I don't need one! / Head of The Kageha
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-01-2009, 08:59 AM
Yagyu's Avatar
Yagyu Yagyu is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,411
Rep Power: 12
Yagyu is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

enjoyed the stories my friend. I love the Yama Character and cant wait to put em thru hell on our little rpg adventure.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-01-2009, 04:56 PM
Vahn's Avatar
Vahn Vahn is offline
Sculpted from Awesomeness
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa!
Posts: 929
Rep Power: 11
Vahn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Vahn Send a message via MSN to Vahn
Default Re: Yama, and other stories as I finish them.

I've had time to read through the first three - thanks for posting them! I really liked the escape scene from Coldstar. There are a few areas where some editing would come in handy, but other than that they're well written and enjoyable. I don't have a lot of free time lately, but I'll try and get to the others you posted as soon as I can.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Sponsored Links


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:49 AM.




Sponsored Links

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Advertisement System V2.6 By   Branden
Copyright 2004 - 2008, Eyes Out Entertainment
Ad Management by RedTyger
no new posts