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Old 11-10-2007, 09:04 PM
Sadr Sadr is offline
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Talking Sadr's comicdrafts

My first small pile of comic suggestions, got many more drafted down on paper. I might ask some talented people in my class if they might be interested in making these, but that shouldn't stop anyone else from jumping aboard either. Any kind of feedback is appreciated as long as it's kept constructive.

Still got about 15 left to add... I hope there's at least one good here.

Ninja vs samurai
  1. A ninja and a samurai runs at eachother.
  2. They start fighting.
  3. The ninja suddenly signals with his arm to stop (or timeout), and goes: "Wait! Why are we fighting, really? Isn't ninjas constantly fighting samurais just a result of stereotypical misconceptions created by the...
  4. The ninja is cut off, litereally, as the samurai stabs/chops him before he gets to finish. Samurai would have that real careface look.

Fair game
  1. Two samurais run into eachother.
  2. Both chop the other's arm off.
  3. One says: "Seems we are evently matched." Other says: "Your lost limb belongs to me now."
  4. Both walk away the way they came, now holding the other's chopped off hand.

Spyrun #1 - This is one of many spyruns.
  1. One or more guards look at a spy (ninja) running away and yells: "You've been spotted spy! There's no where to run."
  2. Spy turn around and replies: "Hah! Let me ask you this: Can you see through smoke!?"
  3. There's a big fiery explosion (around the spy alone) with blood, flesh and bones flying about.
  4. The two guards look at one another and says: "Think he meant to pick the smokebomb?" "Definately".

Spyrun #2
  1. Guard(s) spot a group of spies: "Hah! we have you now!"
  2. Spy replies: "Pfft, you know how to catch shadows?"
  3. Spy throws a bomb and the place goes poof.
  4. Smoke clears, and al spies lie dead. Guard says: "Homemade bombs are dangerous..."

Blind Japanese - Plays on the stereotypical blind martial artist, having insanely sharpened senses and amazing mastery of swordplay.
  1. Two thieves checking out their marks: "Check out that limping old guy. He can barely lift that big sack of money! Go help him will you?"
  2. Other thief is sneaking in ready to snatch the bag, while the first thief has a close look at the oldie.
  3. In the corner of the comicsquare there would be a close-up of the old man's blind eyes, and the thief will be yelling: "Omaki (tentative), he's blind! And you know what that means with a japanese! (not sure if the last part is needed). But the other guy already has his hand on the moneybag, and the old man's head tilts slightly over.
  4. "Omaki" stands there in pieces, face utterly shocked, while the other thief closes his eyes in horror. Old man is just putting his sword back in its sheeth.

Sneaky entrance
  1. Two thieves: "You sure this plan will work?" "I keep telling you, they only have guards at the front gate!"
  2. One thief throws up a hook.
  3. "Hey! Success on first throw".
  4. A picture of the giant guard who was sleeping, but woke up by getting a hook attached to his nose...

Honorable fighter
  1. Two samurai are dueling, and one stops the battle, saying "Ah, I yield. You are too strong for me. I hope you can see the honorable path from here.
  2. Other samurai chops his head off in perfect serenity.
  3. He bows deeply.
  4. And he walks away.

Dishonored samurai - I like the idea of this one, but I'm still not sure what's the best way of ending it.
  1. Ok. I have dishonored my family and my sword alike. There's no honer left for me but that as of a samurai. Here goes...
  2. Lifts sword very hesitantly over stomach. Waits...
  3. Tries again: Here goes!..."
  4. Walks away saying: "I hereby renounce my title as a samurai /or/ screw honor..."

Oldschool ninja
  1. Hasu! (tentative) Bring in the tea!
  2. Pot of tea and glasses just pops up from nowhere on the table. Guest says: "Wow, your servant is really efficient." "Yeah, he's a retired ninja".
  3. Guest: "Well then, let me show you this excellent piece of craftwork then..."
  4. With the sword in his hand, the guest now sits shocked and dead (?) with multiple ninjastars thrown at him. Host says: "Yeh, his reflexes are a little jumpy still..."

Black and blue are friends
  1. A blue ninja meets a black ninja, and they stop and look at eachother.
  2. Black ninja: "Should we fight?.." Blue ninja: "Nah. Black and blue ninjas are so similar, we're basically allies. [pause] Ah look, here comes a blue friend of mine. Welcome brother!"
  3. Black ninja: "You two know eachother?" Blue ninja: "Nono, but all blue ninjas are allies. Oh look, here comes a friend of yours as well!" Black ninja: "AAH! Where!?"
  4. Both blue ninjas are shocked. Black ninja is stabbed in the back by a black ninja who's saying: "Black ninjas do free for all."

Next lesson #1
  1. (The master is an odd character with a rather deformed face). Master says to his student: "You are ready for the next level of your training now." "Great! What is it like?"
  2. While tying a mask/band over his student's eyes: "This trial is about minding your surroundings and never giving up, no matter how exhausting." Student: "So long I've been wondering master, and somehow I feel today I can ask: What happened to your face?"
  3. Master: "Patience my apprentice. The answer lies hidden in this very exercise. Go now, and seek your answer!"
  4. The student is running out on a big field where rakes are lying everywhere.

Next lesson #2
  1. Father and son are fencing. Father: "Good session boy, you have grown strong. Today we shall begin practicing the ancient technique of battling with the mind. Now, lokd deep into my eyes and try to hit me without moving your arms an inch. Find the strength inside you!"
  2. Boy gathers spit.
  3. Boy spits.
  4. Father stands with a big booger moving slowly down his face. "Not what I had in mind, but I might just steal this trick from you."

Flashattack
  1. A traveler (ninja, samurai or something else, dunno) is walking through a forest, whistling and completely calm.
  2. Big beige (any weird colour really) ninja jumps forward. Traveler is puzzled.
  3. Ninja: "Let's see if you can match my flashtechniques!" "Hah!, I can move faster than you can throw a flashbomb. Try me!"
  4. Big ninja flashes by opening his coat (censured). Traveler: "Gaaah! My eyes!"

Ninjavillage
  1. Two guys are walking alongside eachother. Traveler1: "Welcome to Rancore (tentative), the outlaw ninja village. Here you'll get to see all kinds of ninjas: Flying ninjas, transninjas, green red and indigo ninjas, heck, even hoboninjas!
  2. "But don't worry. All of these are rather harmless. The ones you should be on the lookout for are the "appears-to-be-old-lady" ninjas." Around them are pictures of all kinds of weird ninjas. Traveler2 is frozen in fear, looking at an old lady with a mace hanging out of her picked, a wheelcart full of weapons covered just by a small carpet and so on...

Clever ambush
  1. Swordsman is walking into a large room, and meets a man in the middle: "Glad to see you made it master Kiro (tentative), and you even came alone. TIME TO DIE!"
  2. The man has pulled a lever (maybe in first pic) and doors around in the room open, with ninjas standing hidden in each small apartment.
  3. All the ninjas fall dead to the floor.
  4. Traitor: "Hmm, I guess air is a little tight in there." While the swordsman is preparing the finishing blow on his neck.

Last edited by Sadr; 11-11-2007 at 08:56 AM. Reason: Added several more comic strips.
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  #2  
Old 11-20-2007, 03:33 PM
Sadr Sadr is offline
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

I have dozens more on paper, but I'm not sure if I should bother typing the rest down if they all stink. Would really appreciate some comments no matter what your opinion is about these jokes.
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Old 11-21-2007, 08:09 AM
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

most of them were good, some were bit too cliche like, i liked the lesson 2 most ^^
in the ninja village one, i think it would be better if it would be "appears-to-be-lady" and before when he entered the village he would have seen bunch of foxy ladies, u know
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Old 11-24-2007, 03:50 PM
Sadr Sadr is offline
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

Heh thanks. It would be helpful if you could tell me a bit more about the ones that you didn't like much, or straight out disliked. It might be hard to explain why it isn't funny, but maybe you expected a different punchline, maybe you feel like it was hard to understand what was going on up to the "kicker", or maybe is was hard to visualize. It can get hard, but please give it a try.
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Old 11-30-2007, 02:06 AM
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

I thinks the Spyrun #1, sneaky entrance, oldschool ninja, Lesson #1 & 2 and flashattack were the best ones in this, the other ones were weird, or i just didnt get them.
Like the Ninja vs. Samurai, its rather lame, theres a too low comic value, IMO, and its too used.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

Yup yup, i liked the smoke bomb! I hate that. I always grab the wrong bomb....


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Old 01-11-2008, 05:00 PM
Sadr Sadr is offline
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

Just so you guys know, me and Shiro have discussed a partnership for the EOE comics, and now that I've returned to Norway, we can finally start doing some more heavy lifting and have a brand new series of comics to show you guys soon!
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:33 AM
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

Just so you guys know... I would love to work on a more mainstream comic book/webzine. for Tatsumaki. That was what I originally applied for oh so long ago. I think that a well drawn graphic series would attract a large audience to TLaW. Also it actually happens to be my background. Having published underground comic books for almost five years. Anyone else who is interested in this please private msg me.
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:37 AM
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taksman View Post
Just so you guys know... I would love to work on a more mainstream comic book/webzine. for Tatsumaki. That was what I originally applied for oh so long ago. I think that a well drawn graphic series would attract a large audience to TLaW. Also it actually happens to be my background. Having published underground comic books for almost five years. Anyone else who is interested in this please private msg me.
actually i have more work for you tbird
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Old 02-06-2008, 05:56 PM
Sadr Sadr is offline
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Default Re: Sadr's comic-draftw

I discovered an absolutely amazing comic-draft tool today! I have now created my own comicstrip-blog for T:LaW, which can be found at this address: http://lawstrips.stripgenerator.com/

This will make it a lot easier for me to show Shiro what I'm actually visualizing, although sometimes words might do better than fixed images. Still, this lets us all get a better idea of what is to come, and I'm also refering back to T:LaW with every new strip I make, hopefully making for some extra attention.

Happy times (Be sure to go and comment on the strips and give them a high rating, so that they get more exposure!)

Edit: Just had another idea. For extra exposure, I might even translate these comics (to my best attempt) into German and Spanish as well. I've seen that there's quite a bit of spanish/portugese and german speaking comics around here, so that might help make it better known.
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