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[Story] Akuma's Introduction [Archive] - Eyes Out Entertainment Forums

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Akuma
08-16-2005, 04:31 PM
"Sit down, sit down! Sit down, dear child," the eccentric old woman commanded the quiet boy.
"You look like the type who could use a drink and a story after a hard days travel, yes...
yes? I have both for you. But please, sit down!"

She began to rummage around under the counter for a moment. Shortly after she revealed a
tall bottle of sake and a mug that was filled the brim shortly thereafter. The boy, soaked
and shivering looked up at the woman warily. She returned the expression with a wide grin.

"What's the charge?" The boy murmured without emotion.

"Charge? Charge! Who said anything about a charge? Can't an old woman parcel out some good
old-fashioned hospitality now and again? You look like you came here dragged behind a horse
in the mud. Just relax, boy! Relax!"

The boy lowered his eyes and took a seat at the bar. "Very well...if you insist." He picked
up the mug and drank at a rather hastened pace. The woman cupped her hands together and
watched him quietly.

"How is it?" She inquired.

He closed his eyes and set it down. A small smile passed onto his sullen face. "I must say
it's quite good. I..I thank you."

"No need for any formalities, boy. I can see you needed it." She produced a small washrag
from one of the cabinets and began to scrub the bar. "This whole village used to be known
for hospitality...but as of late they're all pretty morose. Many of them bitter as well."

"W-Why? What happened around here?" He said, taking her bait for the story.

"A demon came through here." She whispered, her tone undergoing a dramatic change from
excited and cheerful and dark and foreboding.

"A demon? What kind of a demon?"

"The kind that can bring calamity and woe to an entire village in just one night." She swallowed
a lump in her throat before continuing. "He had a human's body but the soul of a monster."

"What was his name? What did he do?" He questioned, his tone raising and his voice becoming
filled with righteous fervor."

"Hang on, boy! Hang on. You're getting too excited...I'm not sure if I should tell you this.
You might do something reckless!"

"No, please. Go on. I apologize for my interruption." He lowered his head.

"This boy was apparantly training under a local swordsman near this area. As the story goes
the swordsman was coming into town on one of his regular trips. He had to get food and daily
goods because he lived in a somewhat remote area of the woods. Now, one day...this swordsman
was found dead in a restaurant. It was witnessed by several citizens as an attack by some
local thugs. But...his student did not believe this tale. He came into village, filled with
ire and looking for the killers of his master. When the villagers told him the truth he
retorted with cruel ferocity that his master would never be bested by common thugs. He
blamed it on one man...a man who became the pillar of our community as a dedicated and
peaceful leader. EVERYONE said this was a ridiculous charge! But the boy wouldn't listen to
reason. He said he KNEW that this man was responsible! It was simply preposterous! The boy
was mad! He said...that the two of them had been rivals. And that he KNEW that his master
was a victim of some dirty trick by our leader. How ridiculous! How nonsensical! Our leader
was a good and respected man of this community. It was simply not true!" The woman stopped
to calm herself and take a few deep breaths.

The boy remained quiet as he looked up at the woman attentively with firm dedication in his
eyes. The old woman nodded slightly and continued her tale. "Unfortunately not only was this
boy mad...he was also an excellent swordsman himself. He took up the blade of his master and
personally killed the man he accused in public. Some guards tried to stop him...he killed
them too. But ohh...no! No he didn't stop there!" The woman's eyes had become moist as she
spoke with false, but very well performed tribulation. "He started killing anyone in his
line of sight! Innocent civilians were slaughtered like animals! At least fifteen of them
before the rest had all fled. There was no one left to stand up to him...and the monster
left without knowing justice. To think of the things he said about our village! That we were
just common thieves and murderers...to think! What a demon he was..."

The boy slammed his empty mug down on the table. "There is never any justice done for those
who suffer. I will take this upon myself to find and kill this man! What is his name?"

A slight glint sparkled in the old woman's eye as he spoke. "He has no name anymore...he
only answers to the nickname this village gave him. 'Akuma.'"

"Demon or not...he will not harm any innocents after I find him!" The boy ran out, his blood
boiling from the tale. The old woman smirked to herself as he stormed out the door.

She was the wife of a notorious criminal who had this town in his palm and slowly squeezed
the life from it day by day. However, he kept a perfect public image and manipulated the
villagers into believing he was working to help them. That man's blood was the first Akuma's
blade had a taste of. The boy was the fifth to vow to bring back Akuma's head this evening
alone.
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________


Meanwhile...in the next town over...

A tall, spindly frame of a man made his way through the throngs of people. He looked up
from under his midnight-black conical sun hat as his eye scrutinized the crowd.
He lowered his head and his face was shrouded in shadow once more. Onlookers who had
caught a glance at him would have noticed a somewhat pale complexion to his face. His
features were small and delicate - yet this would be ignored due to the most distinct
aspect of his face. That would be the black eyepatch worn over his right. Sinuous black
hair flowed down to the middle of his back. His clothing was traditional - a short kimono
worn with a black hakama skirt with a pair of black sandals. However, the hue of his short
kimono was a unique, mystifying shade of red. Gazing into it created the illusion of
sinking into a blood sea of unfathomable depth. It was devoid of any markings or patterns.

The last item was the crowning piece in any warrior's ensemble - the sword. His blade was
a full length katana sheathed at his side. The saya was no work of art - it was simple,
black and served it's purpose. Nothing more.

EDIT: (again) I changed my mind. I'd rather start roleplaying in my family thread than here. So now it's just my random bad intro.

And yes I was too lazy to write a new appearance for my character so it's the same one from Sykoi's bar - if anyone paid attention to that.

ShininShado
08-16-2005, 05:01 PM
I liked the story, the dialogue was great and easy to read. Maybe some childhood background for character would work, and more about political landscape of village/area they live in. Really good story though.

glowsticknation
08-17-2005, 03:31 AM
A simple blacksmith stood amongst the peasants formed en masse, a character of sharp wits and careful design glances over at this man. A simple looking man with simple looking desires, but a fire in his eye. He remembers that same fire from a man he once knew a decade ago, Yukishiro Enishi was reminded of his father and the flame from his forge. as this happens the banging of his hammer against red hot steel shoots back into his memory.

*BANG* as his father forged the strongest blades in the land

*BANG* as he watchs his father carefully form what will be the governor's prize blade

*BANG* as he makes the pinnacle of perfection

*BANG*... but not the bang of a hammer on steel... of his father's hammer falling to the stone floor of the governor's courtyard. The man so idolized by Enishi (as he was known to his friends) was killed by the sword he carefully crafted.

It was amusing to remember these sounds when looking upon this man. It almost made him wonder if the man had gone through struggles similar to his own. Whether or not this man was a slave to his village... whether or not he had lost everything only to rise up against the world and take back what was rightfully his...

in that moment, Enishi felt a connection with this un-named figure in the crowd, but as quickly as it occurred, the man lowered his head and diverted attention away from the crowd, and Enishi went about his business. Because on that faithful night, Taka would have his revenge.

As he walked towards the governor's house with sword gripped firmly in hand he remembers the sounds of the hammer... the sounds of the steel... the hardships this man has cause him... and he approachs the door and knocks.

Enishi was welcomed in with a big smile and open arms from the governor and his men, because it was the governor's birthday and Enishi had come to present him with the finest Katana money could hope to buy. This beautiful weapon was crafted with the finest of ores and folded hundreds of times, this process took Enishi 6 months to complete. The handle was laced with red dyed ray-skin with gold thread weaved on the outside. The tang was 3 pin for durability, and had a beautiful black-dyed core, with gold emblems signifying the crafter. the Tsuba featured the scene from his father's death in black steel while the blade was inscribed with the words "Revenge is the work of the devil... may this black blade suit your black heart"... the saya lacquered in black with gold accents.

as he approached this governor, he unsheathed the sword for inspection... but little did the governor know, but Enishi had trained not only in blacksmithy, but in budo as well. With his target in sight and his goal in mind, he thrust the blade crafted with his father's memory into the governor's heart only to be met with surprise and denial. During what felt like an eternity, he stared into the governor's eyes as the life left him and the last thing the governor knew was that he had stopped armies from invading, but he couldn't stop one man with a purpose.

In that moment Enishi vowed to never again take up a blade against man. Instead he would continue crafting in his father's memory. Continue making tools for the righteous to strike into the heart of evil...

but, as that moment passed, he had a desire to meet this man he had encountered on the streets and share stories and perhaps make a new friend in his zealous quest against evil... but upon return, the street was empty. Enishi was saddened, but realized that his quest lie not in this individual, but in the world... and he take his hammer, reaches it up to the sky and says "Father, your life work... is now mine" as he walks into the distance, hoping to find a village for him to start his journey in.

Slots
08-17-2005, 04:07 AM
psst glowstick ... dont just say your father was the best ... its a bit .. arogant. he can be one of the best, but not THE best >.>

and why are oyu posting this in someone else's intro?

Akuma
08-17-2005, 04:10 AM
I mentioned I wanted to continue the plot at the end of it. I -want- people to keep posting. It all takes place in the crowded city.

MitsueNeko
08-17-2005, 05:21 AM
Okay to continue this because Akuma says so...

Standing on a roof of a local inn, searching through the busy people out on the streets going about thier business was a girl about 15 years old. She has long black hair pulled back with a ribbon into a ponytail, black eyes, creamy white skin, and about 5' 3". She wore a red silk yukata with a black obi and just a pair of simple tabi shoes. The summer sun was up since it was about noon so of course it's hot outside. That's why she's wearing a yukata. Still wondering why she was on the roof you ask? Well okay I'll tell you. Just don't get mad if she finds out and fan-o-dooms you. She's stalking someone.

Mitsue: "I heard that!"
Neko/Me: "Umm... you are hearing things... I am not real..."
Mitsue: "Whatever! I can hear you loud and clear you traitor! Go back to telling the story! I didn't pay you to ruin my cover!" *Brings out fan-o-doom and beats the writer*
Neko/Me: "Okay, okay you win! I'm sorry! So sorry! I'll go back to the story! Sheesh! Have a bad temper. See people. This is what I have to put up with everyday. Always nagging."
Mitsue: "I heard that! Do you think I'm deaf! I'm right next to you!"
Neko/Me: "Okay back to story."

She continues to looks and seems not to find the person she was looking for.

"Where is he? My sources say's he'll be here, so where is he?"

She was about to go back inside the inn through the window, but then she fell through the roof. Since she fell on some of her servants, she didn't break any bones or whatever happens when you fall through a roof.

"OWW!!! Stupid roof! I'm not even that heavy! Am I?" She looks in front of her from on top of her servants and sees through the open door the guy she was looking for. He was standing there out in the street looking around. The reason why I do not know myself. He was tall, had black hair, and an eyepatch over his right eye. He wore a traditional short kimono that looked red with a black hakama skirt and a pair of black sandals.

Her eyes brightened up at the sight of him and she got up. It's him! Thanks Kami-sama! She runs out of the inn shouting, "Yay! I found you! I found you!" and hugged him.

Akuma
08-17-2005, 05:37 AM
Okay to continue this because Akuma says so...

Standing on a roof of a local inn, searching through the busy people out on the streets going about thier business was a girl about 15 years old. She has long black hair pulled back with a ribbon into a ponytail, black eyes, creamy white skin, and about 5' 3". She wore a red silk yukata with a black obi and just a pair of simple tabi shoes. The summer sun was up since it was about noon so of course it's hot outside. That's why she's wearing a yukata. Still wondering why she was on the roof you ask? Well okay I'll tell you. Just don't get mad if she finds out and fan-o-dooms you. She's stalking someone.

Mitsue: "I heard that!"
Neko/Me: "Umm... you are hearing things... I am not real..."
Mitsue: "Whatever! I can hear you loud and clear you traitor! Go back to telling the story! I didn't pay you to ruin my cover!" *Brings out fan-o-doom and beats the writer*
Neko/Me: "Okay, okay you win! I'm sorry! So sorry! I'll go back to the story! Sheesh! Have a bad temper. See people. This is what I have to put up with everyday. Always nagging."
Mitsue: "I heard that! Do you think I'm deaf! I'm right next to you!"
Neko/Me: "Okay back to story."

She continues to looks and seems not to find the person she was looking for.

"Where is he? My sources say's he'll be here, so where is he?"

She was about to go back inside the inn through the window, but then she fell through the roof. Since she fell on some of her servants, she didn't break any bones or whatever happens when you fall through a roof.

"OWW!!! Stupid roof! I'm not even that heavy! Am I?" She looks in front of her from on top of her servants and sees through the open door the guy she was looking for. He was standing there out in the street looking around. The reason why I do not know myself. He was tall, had black hair, and an eyepatch over his right eye. He wore a traditional short kimono that looked red with a black hakama skirt and a pair of black sandals.

Her eyes brightened up at the sight of him and she got up. It's him! Thanks Kami-sama! She runs out of the inn shouting, "Yay! I found you! I found you!" and hugged him.

"W-what the? What are you doing?!" He exclaimed, blinking in disbelief. "I think you have me mistaken for someone else." His eye closed as he began to try to loosen himself from her grip without harming her. "I don't know any annoying little girls..." He added with agitated overtones. "Now get off me!"

"You're attracting too much attention to me anyway..." He mumbled softly.

glowsticknation
08-17-2005, 03:01 PM
it was my character's personal opinion about his father being the best :-p

in actuality he was only aspiring to be the best in the governor's region, which was the reason he gave that blade to the governor

Tenshin
08-17-2005, 06:17 PM
You've got a good writing style, Akuma. The story telling skills are on point. I hope for more to read.

Akuma
08-19-2005, 09:16 AM
Bah, well...seems like there isn't much interest in continuing this story. I guess I'll just leave it as his intro and be done with it. Maybe some more people will go to my family thread :D

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